OMFG its RedBetty!!

So yeah I haven’t written in a couple weeks. I’ve been busy as hell and my freaking hands have been acting up. Not that I KNOW I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.  I mean I’ve never been tested or whatever.  But since I moved my hands, and fingers have been suffering major pain, and numbness.  I’ve had it on and off most of my adult life. I never have been tested because there really isn’t much you can do. Take NSAIDs, wear splints, and try to rest your hands. But honestly it’s only acted when I’ve have slave to the PC type jobs where I’m keying like mad for hours on end. I can’t even remember the last time it was this bad. Years I tell ya.  I guess the move did them in because they HUUUUUUUURRRRRRRTTTTIE.

As for my new pad.  IT FUCKING ROCKS. I totally love it. I love it even more then the old place. It’s a tad smaller but I love the tile floors and the SHAG carpet in my bedroom and oh yeah my HUGE ASS walk in closet.  Goodbye industrial indoor/outdoor crap ass carpet. I’m also upstairs on the end.  No one can see in my place unless I want them to. Which means….I can walk around naked in my own place, which can I just say… I really like.  I know so silly but oh so nice.

I’ve met a few of my neighbors and they seem nice.  I’m not going out of my way to be extra friendly cause I don’t want to have the same BS happen again.  Just a nice “hey how ya doin” is fine with  me.

I think the kitties dig it too. They both sleep on the bed with me now which they have NEVER done. Can it be that after a YEAR they are finally liking each other?

I live super close to some good friends too which I love. So in all in love with my new place. Now…I just need a job. Blahhhhh….

So…I went and signed my new lease, and picked up my keys to the my swanky new pad tonight. Woohoo! I even stopped off at the metaphysical store and picked up some sage and burnt in every corner to weed out any negativity.  So it should be fully ‘clean’ now. I know that sounds a little wacky but I do buy into some of that new age stuff. I did live with a so called ‘physic’ for three years. The freaky thing is this is the first apartment I didn’t ‘cleanse’ before moving in and look at all the drama it brought.

Now comes the hard part.  Getting all my shit from one place to the next. UGH.  I had one friend bailed on me, but really she has a “free pass” she’s been sick as shit and hasn’t even been to work all week. I don’t even care how it all gets there, just get it there.

Unpacking is always the fun part. I LOVE it. I love putting things away, orgainizing,  and decorating. Making a place YOUR own is the BEST.

Well I still have my kitchen to do so I better get back to work. yay.

Jesus. I’m so freaking glad I’m MOVING!!! Tonight was just the icing on the cake.

It started out cool, my friend Jen came over and visited while I packed. Then my next door neighbor, the one I talk to came over and ask me to call the dope man for him. (He doesn’t know him) So I did. I hate being the middled man especially considering I rarely smoke the stuff anymore, but I promised him I’d introduce him.

Anyways Dopeman comes over to hang and asks why I’m moving. I give him the quick rundown…sick of everyone knowing my business, the incident with my other neighbor, the DRAMA, etc.

Now let me back it up a bit, Dopeman knows the neighbor that I got into a fight with since they were kids. He used to beat him up in the school yard (cause he was gay..) Dopeman also has always had a crush on me. So Dopeman wasn’t pleased to hear that he was starting shit with me. So when he heard what happened he offered to ‘bust his jaw so he can’t suck dick for a week’ (gee thanks…) but I politely declined.

Anyways I made a comment about how said neighbor had some movies of mine so Dopeman calls him up and says hey you need to bring this girl her stuff back.

It was a short conversation…I mean they are on semi-friendly terms…it’s the hood everyone’s nice to the Dopeman. He said he wasn’t home and asked why I didn’t come over to his house when he was home and ask for them. (**Ummm yeah….you threaten to cut me and I’m going to come knock on your door ask for Shawshank Redemption back… ummm NO). Dopeman said just give the girl her stuff back and apologize for being stupid. And that was that.

Well crazy ass neighbor just came home and literally BANGED on my front window so hard I thought it would break. FUCKITY FUCK. I picked up my stun gun and answered the door and it’s Crazy neighbor and downstairs neighbor is looking up. Crazy neighbor is DRUNK. He is pissed that Dopeman had been ‘calling him all night’ while he was at a party. He is ranting and raving on why I had to involve Dopeman on something that went on between me and him. Why didn’t I just come talk to him. Ummm hello see ** above. Besides Crazy neighbor went to everyone in the building trying to get them against me and all of them basically said “don’t involve me”. Also….Dopeman is a friend and fuck I’m allowed to talk to who I want to about what the fuck is going on. I tried to speak to Crazy Neighbor and make sense to him but there was no way I was getting there. I finally said LOOK JUST GIVE ME THE MOVIES NOW, as I slightly grazed the stun gun holster. He went into the house and gave them to me.

I called Dopeman and told him what happened and he was livid. He had only called him the one time while he was here hanging out with Jen and I . He said that he’d come over here right now and beat his ass and I was like NO I don’t want anything going on. I have one more night of this place I don’t want anymore drama. Crazy Neighbor is full of shit too because Dopeman said that HE TOLD HIM about what happened between me and him the week before…so I didn’t out the situation to him Crazy did. Fucked up bitch just wanted to be a DRAMA QUEEN. Uggh.

One more night.

Ok so I’m LOVE.  With my dad’s shiatsu massaging cushion. Oh lordy it feels so good.  I didn’t do a  whole lot yesterday packing wise, but I was sore this morning. All day I was trying to ‘crack’ my back then I came home and remembered he had this thing and now….I wanna steal it.  With all the tension I have going on I need me one of these things.

Today the people from India arrived. Joy.  Not sure when they are going to start ’shadowing’ us to see/learn our jobs, but today it just really hit me. I mean I’ve been laid off before. I can deal with that, (even though this is the WORST separation agreement I’ve EVER gotten). But the whole part of teaching other people to do my job….eh… not liking that idea so much. After we had the first little meet and greet I went to bathroom and almost threw up. I don’t know if I can do this. Let’s hope the job interview Wednesday goes well.

I pick up the ‘rents tonight from their Alaskan trip.  Their flight has been delayed which means it’s going to be even later then midnight….and I still have to get up and go to work. YAY. On the phone with my mom today she was like oh you can come over Wed or Thursday for dinner so I can give you some gifts I bought you.  I was a little dumbfounded.  Not that she bought me gifts, but HELLO I am moving this SATURDAY. I need to pack.  And yeah I’ve been AT YOUR HOUSE for three weeks.  I tried to explain this to her as nicely as I could so not to sound ungrateful. I just don’t think she thinks of these things ya know? But hey that’s mom for ya.

So…I’m sitting here in my apartment staring at sea of boxes trying to figure out where to start packing. I ventured out of my parents house because with me staying there until Wednesday and me moving THIS SATURDAY I knew I had to get over here and start getting shit done. But instead I got as far as unloading boxes and staring at them. Have I mentioned how much I DESPISE being rushed? And I feel rushed and that gets me anxious which in then turns into a pit in my stomach. I know woo as me. (I know that is spelled wrong wtf-ever).

Driving over here I started to get anxious before I even got here. My stomach started doing somersaults and my head was spinning. A definte sign moving is a GOOD THING. I mean it’s just the one neighbor that I got into it with and he is a little punk ass bitch who isn’t going to do shit. The rest of my neighbors are so nice and laid back. Why am I letting one person get to me so much. I’m thinking because I let him in too much. I do that ALOT . I let people into my life so easily, I can’t help it I’m just a trustworthy person.

My friend Jen always tells me that’s why I end up getting hurt or disappointed with people that I need to let people earn my trust more. I know in a way she is right but it’s so hard because it’s just who I am. I’m naturally open and carefree. But after this situation I think I have learned my lesson on trusting people. Number 5 accused me of being a ’sometimer friend’. When really it was quite the opposite. He didn’t trust and BELIEVE I really did care and was his friend. It’s sad (for him) because he really not only lost me as a friend but he also lost two other people who cared deeply for him over this (my downstairs neighbor and his sister - who was like a second mother to him). But you know what…I can’t feel sorry for someone that brings shit on himself. Too bad so sad.

Ok I guess I better get off to boxland. Yew haw.

So I’m sitting here alone on a Saturday night.  I had plans to have a few friends over for some pool time but the weather turned to shit and no one wanted to drive out to just sit and watch the rain. Do I blame them?

Anyone that knows me well knows what a huge 90210 freak I am.  (That’s how I met PC  many years ago on a 90210 message board, who got me started on this blogging thing among other things). I watched that show RELIGIOUSLY from start to finish. I never cared how hokey it was, it was one of the very first show I just loved and identified with.  Where else could you solve problems like rape, drug addiction, and death in an hour? Anyways….PC told me the book was a good read so I went and picked it up. I was always into Kelly on the show, Donna, not so much.  But I have always followed pretty much anything anyone from the show has done career-wise.  I watched Jennie Garth’s and Tori’s Lifetime movies, and both of their TV shows.  I really enjoy Tori’s reality show too.

So reading “sTori Telling” was of course on my list of must read sometime. It’s actually a pretty decent read. It’s also had me take a second look at things in my life. I totally relate when she talks about a pattern that takes place with her life.  Here’s the excerpt that’s just so erriely similar to my life:

A pattern emerged in my life.  It goes something like this: Just when I’ve given up all hope (in my career, love life, my hair you choose), I get an amazing oppourtunity. This amazing oppourtunity gives me new hope. I’m determined to make the most of it . I throw myself into it. I try really hard. My efforts seem to pay off…and then nothing.  It all goes to pot.

I read this passage like FIVE TIMES because holy fucking shit THIS IS MY LIFE!! And now I’m thinking shit can Tori Spelling change my life? LOL!  It’s just crazy because I know there are people out there with problems but it’s also comforting to see that other people go through the same shit too. So i’m going to keep reading Tori’s book and see how she broke out of her pattern….who knows…maybe she can help me change my life.

Whew. So I got the AC fixed finally. After I posted last night I called my boss and left a message saying I had to stay home to get this shit fixed. I mean I’m sorry but AC is seriously more important to me.  So I spent the day laying around the pool reading Tori Spelling’s bio waiting for the AC man. I know rough living but as I said AC is important here.

Besides I’ll be at work next week to train the super power Indians my job.  Well at least most of the week. I have Wednesday off and thank god because I have an interview!!  I honestly think I might be not be exactly what they are looking for (under qualified) but at least it’s an interview. There’s interest, and that has me hopeful.

My time here at the ‘rents is winding down.  Tomorrow I decided to host a ’summer begins’ BBQ around the pool. Not a huge shindig, just a few friends to come over and hang out. I’m truly lucky to have such a good group of friends around me that are so supportive. How in the world would I make without them is beyond me. 

I’ve been writing everyday and I think it might be helping me get a grasp on all the BS going on. I’m still feeling over my head with everything that is happening, but I guess I’m starting to realize there is only so much I can do at once.  And when it does get to be too much I just laugh.  Because it’s the only thing I can do. If I sit and think about all the shit going on I’d freak out so I just think well…at least I don’t have cancer.

So if I hadn’t mentioned I have been staying at my parents house while they are on a 3 week trip to Alaska. I basically had to up root myself and both the cats to be here.  During the time I have been here I have found out:

I will be moving on 6/28 (parents return 6/24 - yeah I have THREE days to pack my apt. I live an hour away…so yeah going over there to start is kind of big fat pain in the ass…but living far that was on PURPOSE, k)

I am getting laid off 9/1

And now today the freaking AC breaks. Excuse me but this is FLORIDA. It’s almost JULY. It’s fucking HOT and humid. Like seriously it’s 87 fucking degrees in this house.  What the fuck else can go wrong??? Fuck. Now I’m going to have to stay home from work tomorrow so the AC guy can come and fix this shit, because god forbid I pack it in and take their princess dog to my apartment and let them deal with this shit when they come home. I need my damn PTO days to go on job interviews.

I swear I’m ready to punch something. Me no likey being hot and sweaty. That makes me BITCHY.

Another annoyance.  This chick I work with. She is a temp and well now she’s shit out of luck since we are all losing our jobs, but they are keeping her on because ‘we need her’.  She is a total loon.  And coming from me….that’s saying a lot. I literally had to change my IM name so she’d quit annoying me. But then she’ll just send me stuff via email.  Seriously stupid stuff like…after we’ve gotten to work and all gone to get our coffee at like 11am she’ll email me  with “Good Morning”.  WTF? It’s almost lunch you crazy bitch.  Everythig is just random and half the time I have NO IDEA what she is talking about. Like the other day out of the blue she emails me  ‘that lady is such a fucking bitch’.  Ok she wasn’t on the phone with anyone.  She wasn’t talking to anyone in the office. Who’s the bitch?  Her imaginary friend? Today she emailed me saying “I think I’m going to make my husband buy me a pink Hummer.”  How the fuck do you respond to something like that??  She talks to herself too. I mean ok I talk to myself.  Ya know the usual “Fuck!” when I screw something up or “WTF?” But NO this chick like has full on CONVERSATIONS with herself. I feel like it’s the satanic whisperings or something. Crazy ass bitch.

Geez….I really need a drink before I start thinking about how I have to teach some jackass how to do my job for the next two weeks and go postal.

Today we got the word on  when we are getting the axe. September 1st. The Indians taking over our jobs think they are going to be able to come down here and learn our jobs in NINE days. LOL!!! It took  me a full THREE MONTHS to learn my job. But hey I guess these Indian folks have super powers or someting.

The BEST part is our super duper awesome layoff package. We are getting a retention bonus of 4 weeks of pay.  In a lump sum, (meaning 25% tax taken straight off the top). And that is it. No severance pay. Just the four weeks in a lump sum. WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SHIT IS THAT??? Certainly not an incentive for me to stick around.

I’ve got my resume out there and I have had a few calls….no interviews yet. At least there is interest though.

I’m finally getting excited about my move. I was really STRESSED out about it but what’s the point. I mean it will get done…I just have to get rid of a bunch of shit.

Peace of mind…at least at home is on it’s way.

I honestly had good intentions on being a little more active on posting stuff. But once again my life has been turned upside down with a variety of bullshit, drama and other fun and exciting things. I have become overwhelmed and went back to therapy and today my therapist and I started discussing my blog and she thinks I need to get back at it. I do miss writing my thoughts and sharing my experiences. But it’s been hard for me.  Usually when I post things I’m to the point where things are so bad that I just have to find humor in it or I’ll truly go insane. But when I get overwhelmed I have a hard time getting to the point of laughing about it. I know I can and have been able to handle all the bullshit life throws at me but there are some rare times where I just feel like saying fuck it and throwing in the towel. I’ve been in that rut lately.

So let’s begin….I’m getting laid off.  Yay. Not that it’s a shocker I mean our client was suppose to sign their contract back in Jan and it’s what almost July and no contract. The current one is good until the end of the year but Big Bucks NY Publisher wants to buy us out. We are suppose to get a 2-3 month lead time and a retention ‘bonus’ to stay.  But we have yet to get any sort of date. I’m not shocked or even disappointed. This job was always a ’stepping stone’ to me. But I wanted to at least tough it out until the economy got better and such.

I’m moving out of “Ghetto Place”. I can’t take it anymore.  It was a fun novelty for a while but ugh…so tired of dealing with all the drama. Also my neighbor who was suppose to be a good friend went all whacko on me one day and threatened to have someone ‘take care of my cracker ass’ …..ok….yeah he is off his meds.  But  that parlayed with the fact that I now have not one but TWO convicted felons on each side of me has made me very uncomfortable. I can’t live in a place where I don’t feel safe.  So I’m moving in two weeks.

I’m currently staying at my parents house while they are in Alaska for three weeks watching the dogs and such so I’m not going to have anytime to pack. But I guess I’ll figure that shit out. I HATE asking people to help me move but I have no choice. My family is paying for a truck and moving the big stuff I just need to recruit some folks to move all the boxes.

I like the new place…it’s a little bit smaller but in a much safer neighborhood and very centrally located. Again good for the job search.

So what’s going on with you guys…if anyone happens to stop by here…LOL!